One more day, I could manage one more day.
I hoped.
This had made the third time this week and counting, but how are you supposed to sort out such a situation. It doesnt sort itself out over night, things like this. If it did I wouldnt be there would I? A disfunctional family is all. Well, a disfunctional relationship. Between me and my mum, been happening for a while now actually - at least since Dad left. Not that my little sisters even noticed. Absent minded mug. Though according to my Mother: "She needn't know. It's between you and me."
Not sure why. It's her problem not mine.

The park, my place of peace and sanctuary! In the middle of chaville I suppose it's the best I'll ever get around here. It looks nice when the suns out like that though. A gentle breeze nudged at the swings, it whistled through the wholes in the vibrant perky fence. I wouldnt say trapping me in, more like securing me and keeping me safe until I was ready to leave. Yeah, the bench was wet, it had been raining - but who cares? wet jeans are no different from wet feet. A problem I was now tackling due to the caping holes in my boots. They were cheap, mum couldnt afford much else and since she doesnt let me go out shopping by myself it was really the only option I had to get out of my flip flops before the snow bit at my toes.I've grown pretty fond of them though, Just means I can only go out in the driest of the dry weather. Unfortunatly - thats rare around here. You may have noticed how i use the phrase 'around here' quite alot. Dont worry, its not alien - i'm not alien. Whether I feel it or not. Nah this is just especially gloomy and rough compared to the other civilistations dotted arounf Birtain - I wont give you an exact location, you "needn't know". Hah.

Even know I wanted to hit something, not that I would. It's me for goodness sakes. I wouldnt hit anything, I cant make a decent fist - it just looks like I have some sort of fist renduring condition thats caused an especially gammy fist. I'm pretty darn messed up any way though - if you havent guessed already that is. I didnt want to stormp off like a stroppy teen this time, but I didnt want to keep going so I gave up. Apparently I was showing attitude - I wasnt though I swear. Then this escalated to my school work, my friends, how i act around her. Whats  the point? I'd have to totter back in with my head down at some point. I wasnt sure when I would get to cold; or when it would get to dark; when my bum would go numb or when I couldntstand the bordom; but at some point I would have to head home - back to reality and away from my little park.

School trips have always bored me but at that very moment I was pretty thankfull for this parrot. About the only animal in the whole of the mediocre zoo, that would co-opperate with me and my camera. For some reason he caught my attention; other than his brilliant array of colourful feathers; or its oddly threatening beak. But looking into its eyes, i seemed to see mirrored the exact same thoughts going round in my head. He looked full of wisdom behind his tired eyes, like he knew the drill.He was expecting my class mates to ignore him and go gawk at the sleeping fluffy rabbits across the path way, though he was used to the toddlers screaming and yelling at him to talk. maybe he was saving his voice, some important speech maybe. On behalf of all the birds at the zoo, telling us lot to basically bog off perhaps!?

The sun had just gone in, and the fluffy white clouds were starting to swallow up the blue sky ahead. The water rippled as the swans paddled just out of my view, five of them - three of them only bundles of feathers. I was sure to pour over the pretty reflection in the river, the perculiar shapes gracefully danced and swirled around eachother only to be disrupted by the ripple of a fish to cause new patterns. No, it wasnt that facinating to be honest. Boring even. But it wasnt raining; the sun still peered over the clouds to follow my gaze where ever it went; the geese seemed quite content with ther weather, and the water weel was turning slowely and steadily beside me. It wasnt a perfect sight at all - it was still a British summer but hey thats a summer all the same right? I tried to imagine what the picture would look like in the winter. The river would have been frozen over, the patters clear and extra sharp. A white blanket of snow would cover the trees with only the odd fleck of green poking out from beneath it's thick frozen cover. The sky would be seem clean and crisp, much like the air would. I could almost imagine the woosh of cool air as it would hit my lungs when i sucked in a breath. I decided I quite liked this spot actually.

click.
I lowered the camera from my face to look up at the house looming over me.
"It's too big." I thought aloud - but who would want to live in a massive house like that when you can have a perfectly small, sweet, cosy house for a hell of alot cheaper.
"Dont be so miserable Ro" My Dad nodded in my direction. "It's beautiful, not that you have anything to complain about - 's'not like we're asking you to move in" He chuckled. was that supposed to be funny? I heard my Mum speaking in the distance. What was she saying? Needles? The Needles? We're going  to The Needles?? Fan-bloody-tastic.

I turned by attention towards the enourmous field streched out infront of me, the greenest grass I'd ever seen sang in the wind artificially.A group of horses were gathered in the corner, i wondered how posh they would sound if they could talk. The sky was shocking; not a single cloud teased in the sky; the perfect blue complimenting the vivid green of the tree's; and the three distant black V's swooping across the land scape. It was a perfect picture on it's own, but when my vision panned across the horizon i realised there was no limit to the back gardens beauty. How odd - such an over done house, looking almost plain next to the simplicity of it's back garden. The blue met the green and only looked more stunning together. The horses strolled carefully across the field, their heads bobbing with each step s if agreeing with my thoughts.

There was one horse in particular that caught my attention. It was white, with grey smudges across its toned body. The imperfect creature seemed out of place against the other obvious stallions trotting infront of it. Its main was a dirty grey, but it was only a young foal. It's legs were shorter than the others and he seemed almost over excited about the prospect of where he was living. I dont know if it was a he but I told myself he was. A beautiful boy, he would be taught to trot, canter, gallop, jump, whine and what ever other tricks his carer could do. I hoped he would be a stubborn boy. He would refuse to co-operate and be reckless, he would take full advantage of his surroundings - splashing in the man made pond and lounging lazily in the shade of the great oak trees. At that moment I wanted to be that horse, that reckless, rebellious horse.